Mango-Passion

make me happy to be alive. I can tell that fall is creeping up on me. I can feel the cool winter nights approaching and I know that somewhere out there my daddy and my pap are watching over me. They’re saying “hold on to the things you love now because tomorrow you might be gone.” Their spirit holds me on nights like these, it keeps me sane to think of all the good times we’ve had on nights just like this one. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the worst week of my life. Tomorrow I’ll lose my role model, my friend, my partner in crime, my hero, my inspiration, my pappy. I’ll lose him all over again. I’ll see my mom standing at the door to my apartment, my sisters tear stained face peering over her shoulders. I’ll lie awake wondering if he remembered in those last few moments just how much I loved him. Three days I’ll doze off and wake up in that same cage, that hell on earth will come back to haunt me all over again. I’ll think that nothing could be worse than burying my grandfather and I’ll be shown just how wrong I could be. Tomorrow I’ll start losing the life I once knew. I’ll end up broken in more ways than one. My new family, one less. It’s all coming and I know that, but tonight, tonight is clear and beautiful and horribly at odds with my feelings and I’m grateful for that, more grateful than anyone could possibly imagine.