Mango-Passion

In the past two years so many things have changed. I wouldn’t generally think of myself as one of those people who loves to reinvent themselves every so often or anything like that but the last 2 years have been the hardest, worst two years of my life. My grandfather died in September of 2009. Two days later my mom, my dad, my sisters and I were on our way home from his pre-funeral viewing when a man who just happened to be drunk and stoned out of his mind on methadone and percocet hit us at 8 pm on a Thursday evening just 15 minutes from our home. My dad was killed, my mom was paralyzed, I managed to drag my sisters out of our demolished vehicle in a shoeless, mostly conscious daze before the medic’s and police and gawkers arrived. My sisters spent 40 days in the hospital each of them had something like 6 surgeries to rebuild their faces and their limbs. My mom still has no feeling from the waist down. I walked away with 700 stitches and the only conscious memories of the entire accident and following weeks, not to mention the guilt of knowing I was supposed to be driving that car home. To say that I’ve changed because of that night is an understatement. My entire grasp on reality shifted. In a matter of minutes I went from being a daughter and a sister to a mother and caretaker. I’ve changed less drastic things like my hair color and my contacts. I got new frames for my glasses. I bought a house. I met Dustin and fell head over heels. We adopted a dog, Oscar, he’s a maniac. I said goodbye to the two most important men in my life, I cried for days, I pretended to be okay, I struggle everyday to put a smile on my face when I turn on the radio and hear any number of songs that they used to sing to me. I made it through a time in my life when I didn’t think I’d ever have a normal life again. It’s amazing to see how adaptive we as humans really can be…I love deeper, I forgive more easily, I let go of the past, I live and love in the here and now, I’ve learned a lot.